Pleasure of Pain
Pain and sacrifice oftentimes go hand in hand. Now, I am no expert on pain for I have done whatever I could in life to avoid it. I run from conflict. I manipulate situations to ease the initial blow. I have a tendency to justify my own behaviors no matter how blatant so that it doesn't sound so bad. I have mistakes in my past that when retold can be said in such a way where observers can agree, "Well, you probably had to." Sadly, I know better now. For some gift of insight, I have always known. Jealous of others whom got to look past themselves and didn't over-analyze their actions or further inward, their intent. I was always aware of mine. Even as a youth, picking on my brothers, bullying them for my own entertainment. I knew I was dissatisfied with myself and the external stimuli of a brother's frustrations was entertainment, a distraction, for a little while at least. When picking on my brothers wasn't available, or enough, food then became the autom...