That Time I Spit on Myself

There I was. Lifting before 5AM on a week day. As my back lay against the cold, light padding of a bench press. I prop myself underneath. Push off, weight focused on the palms of my hands. As soon as the weighted bar is lifted, focus shifts to my chest to relax slowly allowing the weight to come down in a controlled motion, then contract to push. On my first push back up. I exhale and one single little droplets of saliva comes out. The way it reflected light caught my attention. Amidst the inevitable fear any man has of letting their focus slip and the weight come crashing down on top of them, I was easily distracted. The tiny little pebble went up and then straight back down, landing in my beard. I still had more reps to go. I refocus my mind and do 6 more. I prematurely stopped at 7. An odd number for any lifter. My OCD says do 6 or 8, but 7 is ridiculous. I was distracted by the inevitable spit in my beard and the humor I found in it. As I rack the weight, I sit up, caress my beard to wipe away any obvious inability to control my fluids and take a second to regain my focus and let go of the failed attempt to complete the expected task.

Yes, I spit on myself. Not as bad as peeing on self which has it's own story, but spit, when laying beneath metal and weight in a gym with nobody in it to save my life if weight was dropped, is significant as well. I was distracted from my intent. It was a subtle, non-interfering distraction. I lost my neurological connection of mind and muscle. Right now as I type this, I can contract my pectoral muscles as a display of this discipline. I can focus on the muscle unit to do as I say, because I am focused. In that moment though, I was distracted.

It's funny how easy it is to get distracted isn't it? Like you have these plans in life, goals, but then something slight happens and you fail to get back on track because you cannot regain the discipline.

Real life footage..

I had plans at one time to be a pharmacist. I was a chemistry major my first year in college but then shortly after basic training and technical school for the military, I changed majors. Honestly, I had no rhyme or reason to do so, just to change. Do not get me wrong, Chemistry and math were very difficult and at 17 I did not have the discipline required to do anything medically related. I took an easier route because, well, I got distracted by life. Life presented social options, things I wanted to do, and despite the career I could have had passing out pills, this wasn't enough to keep me motivated. I just couldn't sit down to study or allow myself to sit up in Hamilton Hall at the University all day trying to figure out my Organic Chemistry Homework. I just could not focus on the bigger picture. I wanted to live here and now.

Distractions are a part of life. The thing is, you've got to roll with them versus allowing them to completely take you off course. When lifting weights the mind-muscle connection is a huge part of why we workout in the first place. We are activating that part of our brain to contract that specific muscle group so that over time the muscle group responds to the resistance, increasing in size. Hopefully calories are burned and body fat is reduced too, but mainly the muscle thing.

Distraction prevents full force at what you wanted to do. The thing is, you have to determine what is the distraction and what to do about it. I spit in my beard, so what? After all, it wasn't like there was anyone to see it. I spit in my beard all the time, or at least have food particles in it. Instead I choose to keep pushing and use the example of spit in my beard as a way to practice mindfulness.

Once you have a goal, accept distractions, and let them pass by. Anything that interferes with your goal, don't judge, or say "what if," Instead see it for what it is, not in compliance with what you want.

Hopefully someday you will be able to turn down a boy who sucks the life out of you or realize that job you have takes you away from what you really want to do. The only way to be aware of these things is to be mindful of what you are feeling and then take an inventory of what you feel and when. This might be the one skill that puts you on the path to what you really want.