Respect Your Elders, Learn From the Kids.
Time on earth seems to be associated with a sort of wisdom we are all expected to respect. Time on earth allows for enough ups and downs of experience that the survivor must have some insight, knowledge, that they have worth sharing. If I have a coworker of 30 years my senior, does it not behoove me to listen to how they've approached life to see how I can make it that far? What about a parent with high school graduates as kids? Would they be able to give me the best advice on how to do what they've done?
The expected answer is yes to all. Saying yes to the time one has served here and less on the quality of it. Unfortunately, there is no grade to life. There is no report card I can check on as a reference to how this person has done what they so apparently have done. Yes, they might have worked at the same job for 40 years, but does that necessarily make them good at it? Or does it make them good at keeping it? The parent to college-age children, do they have the type of relationship, the outlook that I want with my own daughter?
No matter your measurement for what being SUCCESSFUL looks like, the real value is in the quality of the work versus just showing up. Some people are really good at just "showing up," yet, fail to actually add anything of value. In fact, they are a drain to those around them trying to thrive.
Children have the best perspective. I am met with affirmations everyday as to how well my daughter perceives this life and how I have "missed the mark" through so much of mine. The older I got, the more I interpreted things in a way as affecting me, and the more anxious I became. I see this 2-year-old showing me how to let things go. How to not hold grudges. How to live and let live. One person may argue this is only due to ignorance, but taking a deeper look into what characteristics us as adults have that are so much better?
Let's look at being critical. Being aware of another's intent and keeping a hand up, a safe distance, because of this. Does this really benefit us? What do we GAIN from keeping people at bay at the possible occurrence of being taken advantage of? What we gain is a fear of relationships, an isolation to safety, an egocentric self that wonders why everything bad happens to him, when it is only because everything is made to be about him in his own mind.
Children live, play, hit, forgive, lack resentments, not yet formed biased and subjectivity in being with the one that just hurt them. They say what is on their minds, throw a fit even, and then are done with minimal lingering effects. The longer-lasting effects lie in us their care givers as we prepare for the next tantrum or even better, try to prevent it.
Adults give in, we become lazy. We become more unwilling to see things and learn. We hold ourselves in some false position of authority promoted by a superior AMERICAN culture to our own demise. Adults cave when things are tough for we know there has got to be an easier way. Adults talk behind someone's back just to stimulate themselves. Adults feel the same way children do, yet we are supposed to mask it, suppress it, it is no longer acceptable for we are no longer 6.
When I watch my daughter, even in the worst of time, a sick day perhaps. She is acting like I feel when I am sick. The difference is, she expresses it. She also expresses herself when she is upset, hurt, embarrassed. When we are in the car too long and she starts to scream. "Me too sweetheart." I say to her as I glance in the mirror. I feel what she feels, for I think we all do. The only difference is, we learned how to mask, alter our appearances because acting like a child is deemed "not appropriate."
Throwing myself on the floor in a fit might not be acceptable, but by allowing my emotions to be felt, experienced, even discussed with another, can be my own adult version of a temper tantrum. The problem isn't the emotion felt, but what we choose to do with it. Children seem to have the most genuine response, one we alter into more of an accepted state the older we get and the more knowledge we achieve.
Just because someone is older than you and may have more time in, doesn't mean they did it RIGHT. It only means they survived. Sometimes the effort to survive can be at the cost of everyone else, including their own quality of life. Pay attention to qualities you do not agree with and do not feel it necessary to mimic other's. Instead recognize who you are and be honest within yourself.
I messed up much of my own quality of life striving to achieve what I thought adults wanted from me. Available here for purchase.
 |
| The smaller children all just living life, while an adolescent boy hangs on with strife. |
No matter your measurement for what being SUCCESSFUL looks like, the real value is in the quality of the work versus just showing up. Some people are really good at just "showing up," yet, fail to actually add anything of value. In fact, they are a drain to those around them trying to thrive.
 |
| As she just eats, no over thinking, no over eating, no criticalness to self for doing any of these things. |
Let's look at being critical. Being aware of another's intent and keeping a hand up, a safe distance, because of this. Does this really benefit us? What do we GAIN from keeping people at bay at the possible occurrence of being taken advantage of? What we gain is a fear of relationships, an isolation to safety, an egocentric self that wonders why everything bad happens to him, when it is only because everything is made to be about him in his own mind.
Children live, play, hit, forgive, lack resentments, not yet formed biased and subjectivity in being with the one that just hurt them. They say what is on their minds, throw a fit even, and then are done with minimal lingering effects. The longer-lasting effects lie in us their care givers as we prepare for the next tantrum or even better, try to prevent it.
 |
| I parent her, she teaches me. |
When I watch my daughter, even in the worst of time, a sick day perhaps. She is acting like I feel when I am sick. The difference is, she expresses it. She also expresses herself when she is upset, hurt, embarrassed. When we are in the car too long and she starts to scream. "Me too sweetheart." I say to her as I glance in the mirror. I feel what she feels, for I think we all do. The only difference is, we learned how to mask, alter our appearances because acting like a child is deemed "not appropriate."
Throwing myself on the floor in a fit might not be acceptable, but by allowing my emotions to be felt, experienced, even discussed with another, can be my own adult version of a temper tantrum. The problem isn't the emotion felt, but what we choose to do with it. Children seem to have the most genuine response, one we alter into more of an accepted state the older we get and the more knowledge we achieve.
Just because someone is older than you and may have more time in, doesn't mean they did it RIGHT. It only means they survived. Sometimes the effort to survive can be at the cost of everyone else, including their own quality of life. Pay attention to qualities you do not agree with and do not feel it necessary to mimic other's. Instead recognize who you are and be honest within yourself.
I messed up much of my own quality of life striving to achieve what I thought adults wanted from me. Available here for purchase.
Comments
Post a Comment