Party of One
Doing something by yourself is not a noble cause. Asking for help takes more strength and courage than being so stubborn to believe one can do it on their own. I believe this is rarely a concept of ignorance, as it is reluctance to do so.
Christopher Columbus found America apparently. Though anyone with a higher than 5th grade education has overheard the truth, or at least connected the dots as to the totality of what this explorer did, it is still a recognized holiday. One I was given.
Look, I'll take the free work day, but I will not acknowledge Christopher Columbus as any "great" anything. I rarely believe stories from my childhood anymore, except for Santa, he's real.
One of the more obvious ways to criticize our remembrance of Christopher Columbus is that he came to a land, not his, founded it, and from there we had Thanksgiving right? An accurate time line would depict October 9th he founded this land, then at the end of November, on a Thursday obviously, we ate with the Native Americans. History at its finest.
Something less scrutinized than my little story is that Christopher Columbus did not do anything truth or not, by himself. It took a team of explorers to do anything, including stumbling on a land mass and claiming it as such. Even if this was merely the crew that sailed the ships, whatever their names were. There were women, maybe one, maybe more whom supported and adorned over a renegade explorer who went on courageous quests. There were parents whom raised the individual to look for things and claim them as his own when he found them (he probably wasn't too popular in school, but the lost and found section of the secretary's office was probably cleared out).
So, no matter how minute the person's involvement in founding the physical structure we now call America, they were relevant and just as much a part of the entire operation as anyone else.
With regards to accomplishment being a sum of parts, I relate to the contents of a watch. The thing about a watch is that no part is any more or less important than another. Just because the second hand seems to take the show and get most of our focus, doesn't mean that the gears working on the inside are any less significant and do not deserve appreciation when the thing works well or breaks down. Unfortunately the gears only become the focus when something doesn't work as opposed to when it does. A lineman for a football team may be another, more relatable concept.
In our own lives, the ability to ask for assistance or admit defeat is a more critical skill than Calculus and yet, isn't taught as such. Instead of working on psychological things to help a child grow into a meaningful person we focus more on superficial aspects of learning versus teaching the real solution, ask for help.
Now, this part is critical, for if the information thus far is misunderstood, then you will not be any better for following it.
Make sure you actually, physically, ask for help. As in, "Hey, could you help me please?" or "Could I please get some assistance?" or even, "Hey man, I have no clue what is going on, do you know or could you help me?"
Phrases like these say a lot about the person dictating them. It says that we are strong enough to admit we do not know what is going on, or unable to do something by ourselves, and it also assertively gets the point across that assistance would be needed. Assertive speech is hard for a passive or aggressive, or the combination of the two, passive-aggressive, person. It is difficult to break the apparent competence and admit vulnerability. Though our common sense says the best way to go about getting to your destination is a straight line, our emotions come into play and mess the whole thing up.
A combination of life experiences, core beliefs, feelings of self-worth, all affect our ability to seek outside of ourselves and ask.
Raising kids takes a village, a phrase I learned and remind myself everyday. It really does take more than just one good parent to raise a child. If the kid is lucky 2 are involved, if they are really lucky they will have a whole community of people giving them what they need, consistently.
As I watch my own daughter charter her own destinations in life, I am reminded that her parents are not the only ones who are raising her. We are mere parents, pillars sure, but not the entire house. She has to live life, experience other people, inconsistencies, irrationalities, discounted emotions, frustrations, all things we all deal with in our everyday lives. She is exploring her own environment and may stumble across something significant, without even realizing it at the time. My daughter, a flawed human being, will make mistakes as her parents do, did, and will do. What is important is that she learns to see outside of herself and how her actions affect other people. Allow herself to ask for help to learn and grow versus putting more effort into protecting a self to scared to show the world.
Christopher Columbus did not discover America by himself, (ahem, or some would say at all), however he needed a team of people to help him from birth through final achievement. We all do. Instead of focusing on the more obvious deficits of a child's development, focus on teaching them honesty, not just in actions (telling the truth), but with themselves of needing help with something. If you are a parent reading this, then watching a child suffer at the time will be/is difficult, I have to do it at least once per day, but remember, we are not here to make our child superficially happy, but to raise them into respectable, honest, human beings. The happiness will come naturally and will be found in everyday life, not just in getting what they want.
 |
| The man, the myth... |
Look, I'll take the free work day, but I will not acknowledge Christopher Columbus as any "great" anything. I rarely believe stories from my childhood anymore, except for Santa, he's real.
One of the more obvious ways to criticize our remembrance of Christopher Columbus is that he came to a land, not his, founded it, and from there we had Thanksgiving right? An accurate time line would depict October 9th he founded this land, then at the end of November, on a Thursday obviously, we ate with the Native Americans. History at its finest.
Something less scrutinized than my little story is that Christopher Columbus did not do anything truth or not, by himself. It took a team of explorers to do anything, including stumbling on a land mass and claiming it as such. Even if this was merely the crew that sailed the ships, whatever their names were. There were women, maybe one, maybe more whom supported and adorned over a renegade explorer who went on courageous quests. There were parents whom raised the individual to look for things and claim them as his own when he found them (he probably wasn't too popular in school, but the lost and found section of the secretary's office was probably cleared out).
So, no matter how minute the person's involvement in founding the physical structure we now call America, they were relevant and just as much a part of the entire operation as anyone else.
With regards to accomplishment being a sum of parts, I relate to the contents of a watch. The thing about a watch is that no part is any more or less important than another. Just because the second hand seems to take the show and get most of our focus, doesn't mean that the gears working on the inside are any less significant and do not deserve appreciation when the thing works well or breaks down. Unfortunately the gears only become the focus when something doesn't work as opposed to when it does. A lineman for a football team may be another, more relatable concept.
In our own lives, the ability to ask for assistance or admit defeat is a more critical skill than Calculus and yet, isn't taught as such. Instead of working on psychological things to help a child grow into a meaningful person we focus more on superficial aspects of learning versus teaching the real solution, ask for help.
 |
| Being the one bright spot in an otherwise dismal place, can light up the entire environment. |
Make sure you actually, physically, ask for help. As in, "Hey, could you help me please?" or "Could I please get some assistance?" or even, "Hey man, I have no clue what is going on, do you know or could you help me?"
Phrases like these say a lot about the person dictating them. It says that we are strong enough to admit we do not know what is going on, or unable to do something by ourselves, and it also assertively gets the point across that assistance would be needed. Assertive speech is hard for a passive or aggressive, or the combination of the two, passive-aggressive, person. It is difficult to break the apparent competence and admit vulnerability. Though our common sense says the best way to go about getting to your destination is a straight line, our emotions come into play and mess the whole thing up.
A combination of life experiences, core beliefs, feelings of self-worth, all affect our ability to seek outside of ourselves and ask.
Raising kids takes a village, a phrase I learned and remind myself everyday. It really does take more than just one good parent to raise a child. If the kid is lucky 2 are involved, if they are really lucky they will have a whole community of people giving them what they need, consistently.
As I watch my own daughter charter her own destinations in life, I am reminded that her parents are not the only ones who are raising her. We are mere parents, pillars sure, but not the entire house. She has to live life, experience other people, inconsistencies, irrationalities, discounted emotions, frustrations, all things we all deal with in our everyday lives. She is exploring her own environment and may stumble across something significant, without even realizing it at the time. My daughter, a flawed human being, will make mistakes as her parents do, did, and will do. What is important is that she learns to see outside of herself and how her actions affect other people. Allow herself to ask for help to learn and grow versus putting more effort into protecting a self to scared to show the world.
 |
| Party of one please! |
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