A Few of My Favorite Things.
This is my list that I cam up with in 5 minutes this morning:
Trusting.
Balanced.
Shopping lists.
Honest feedback.
Cute clothes for our daughter (stylish).
Listens to me talk about the same stuff.
A desire outside of herself to see people grow.
Willing to listen to others.
Balance with food I had never known before.
Assertive.
Spiritual.
Indulges, just enough, of my childlike wonder.
Appreciative
Co-parents with respect to my wishes.
Discusses differences.
Funny (Not as much as me, but still)
Appreciates creativity.
Passionate.
Hard-working.
Shows me how to live in the middle (I tend to go all or nothing)
Chosen from God (For I would not have known the qualities of a parent if it were up to me)
Makes me better
Makes me want to be better
Goes along with my impulsive ideas just enough to see me fizzle out because she knows me.
Resilient.
Authentic.
Shows emotion (even in her denial of her initial emotion)
Comforts me, makes me feel small (physically)
Sexy ( in like this professional-mom sort of way-Its more than just hot)
Stylish
Goofy (different than funny)
Does not give me what I want
Respectfully balances my ideas and I respect her as a professional, but more so as a person. She makes me want to learn, improve. This, despite my long pattern in life of justifying my way as the best.
My wife is not my "rock," she is the color that makes the world beautiful. Instead of repetitive, superficial terrain, she shows me beauty in the world. The beauty is not in a traditional sense, but through her giving me what I need and loving me along the way.
It is obvious by now that what we need is not always what we want. If you would have asked me in my 20s what I wanted in a partner, I would have given some superficial answer based on looks. I didn't know what I looked for in an spouse, not to mention mother of my child. Just like with a job, I cannot tell you which type of environment will bring out the best in me, or more importantly have me want to be a better version of myself. I would not have known that to get better, closer to God, and live in a pocket of contentment, avoiding highs and lows of pleasure, that I would have to be challenged and hurt by someone who I allowed and respected to do so.
On an almost daily basis I am challenged, without her knowing in most cases, to be this better person.
"I just wish we had more." A discussion regarding finances.
"Yea" She just listens, acknowledges my thoughts, she knows my thoughts, she agrees with them.
(silence)
"I think it will be fine." She says without any reason as to why she says this.
My next thought, impulse, is to make a snarky comment about lacking reason, for I do not see a change in the situation. An impulse I squash. Instead I sit with my feelings because of so many other discussions before and knowing that she is more capable than I of viewing a positive outcome. I want to be more like her. She has faith that what happens is meant to be. Me, I have to fight control. My initial thought is to do something to SOLVE the problem. She reminds me to believe, trust, even when she cannot tell me why, which is exactly what I needed at the time. She does not just say these things because those would be just words, she shows me. If she would have given me a concrete answer, I would have found a way to logically tear it apart (being negative is powerful). You can't argue with silence.
I have to work everyday to be here, to earn my keep. She also works to be here, to balance. We are in the fight of our lives, this thing called marriage, and I wouldn't choose any other battle buddy. Life is not perfect, which makes it so much fun. Both of us challenged individually and together, and now with our almost 2-year-old daughter whom is a nemesis at times, attempting to pick us apart. It has been 5 years of marriage and I can honestly say I love her more now than I did when we met. My prayer is that I return what she has given me, that she is allowed to grow into the woman she is meant to be. She is a powerful person because she listens, trusts, learns. I knew nothing when we got married, just like in 5 more years I will have known nothing now. If the nothing I know now is any indication of how much she will continue to teach me and bring out the best, then I am the wealthiest man alive.
Trusting.
Balanced.
Shopping lists.
Honest feedback.
Listens to me talk about the same stuff.
A desire outside of herself to see people grow.
Willing to listen to others.
Balance with food I had never known before.
Assertive.
Spiritual.
Indulges, just enough, of my childlike wonder.
Appreciative
Co-parents with respect to my wishes.
Discusses differences.
Funny (Not as much as me, but still)
Appreciates creativity.
Passionate.
Hard-working.
Shows me how to live in the middle (I tend to go all or nothing)
Chosen from God (For I would not have known the qualities of a parent if it were up to me)
Makes me better
Makes me want to be better
Goes along with my impulsive ideas just enough to see me fizzle out because she knows me.
Resilient.
Authentic.
Shows emotion (even in her denial of her initial emotion)
Comforts me, makes me feel small (physically)
Sexy ( in like this professional-mom sort of way-Its more than just hot)
Stylish
Goofy (different than funny)
Does not give me what I want
Respectfully balances my ideas and I respect her as a professional, but more so as a person. She makes me want to learn, improve. This, despite my long pattern in life of justifying my way as the best.
My wife is not my "rock," she is the color that makes the world beautiful. Instead of repetitive, superficial terrain, she shows me beauty in the world. The beauty is not in a traditional sense, but through her giving me what I need and loving me along the way.
It is obvious by now that what we need is not always what we want. If you would have asked me in my 20s what I wanted in a partner, I would have given some superficial answer based on looks. I didn't know what I looked for in an spouse, not to mention mother of my child. Just like with a job, I cannot tell you which type of environment will bring out the best in me, or more importantly have me want to be a better version of myself. I would not have known that to get better, closer to God, and live in a pocket of contentment, avoiding highs and lows of pleasure, that I would have to be challenged and hurt by someone who I allowed and respected to do so.
On an almost daily basis I am challenged, without her knowing in most cases, to be this better person.
"I just wish we had more." A discussion regarding finances.
"Yea" She just listens, acknowledges my thoughts, she knows my thoughts, she agrees with them.
(silence)
"I think it will be fine." She says without any reason as to why she says this.
My next thought, impulse, is to make a snarky comment about lacking reason, for I do not see a change in the situation. An impulse I squash. Instead I sit with my feelings because of so many other discussions before and knowing that she is more capable than I of viewing a positive outcome. I want to be more like her. She has faith that what happens is meant to be. Me, I have to fight control. My initial thought is to do something to SOLVE the problem. She reminds me to believe, trust, even when she cannot tell me why, which is exactly what I needed at the time. She does not just say these things because those would be just words, she shows me. If she would have given me a concrete answer, I would have found a way to logically tear it apart (being negative is powerful). You can't argue with silence.I have to work everyday to be here, to earn my keep. She also works to be here, to balance. We are in the fight of our lives, this thing called marriage, and I wouldn't choose any other battle buddy. Life is not perfect, which makes it so much fun. Both of us challenged individually and together, and now with our almost 2-year-old daughter whom is a nemesis at times, attempting to pick us apart. It has been 5 years of marriage and I can honestly say I love her more now than I did when we met. My prayer is that I return what she has given me, that she is allowed to grow into the woman she is meant to be. She is a powerful person because she listens, trusts, learns. I knew nothing when we got married, just like in 5 more years I will have known nothing now. If the nothing I know now is any indication of how much she will continue to teach me and bring out the best, then I am the wealthiest man alive.
"Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. "- Proverbs 31:30
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