Are You There?

Just one question needs to be asked, “Is he there God?” For the answer to that question needs no more explanation. If he is there, in heaven, then all worries and concerns for him are no more. He is not “resting at peace” as we say here on Earth, he is higher than we can comprehend, more joyous than a human mind is capable of, more elated, relaxed, pleasured all at the same time, than our neurons could process. Though we might miss him here, with us, he does not, he is happier where he is, what he is doing, and time and sadness no longer make any sense to him. Any sentiments are our worldly bodies talking. Just like a room we have never been in, we cannot fathom what it is like. Yes, we could compare it to other rooms, similar rooms, make inferences, but we will not in fact know the actual room. Though, Heaven isn’t a room, nor a place like we imagine here on Earth, it is better and therefore unfathomable. God is not another person either, he is supernatural in all of us, in-between us, and watching us all at the same time. A concept, our levels of comprehension also cannot grasp.  

Those of us here, feeling the loss, the sadness of a familiar friend no longer in human form do not want logic, we want sentiment as a bereavement. We want others to empathize with us, not fix us. We want whatever it takes to allow the time to pass without any more added energy to thought, more specifically to logical thinking. Heaven is a peaceful place as we were raised to believe, it is full of clouds and gold and other worldly pleasures, for that is all we can imagine for pleasure. All of these thoughts are merely specs of potential to what heaven would be like. Though we can logically tell ourselves he is there, we are not, and more importantly, we are not together. 

Death comes to us all, we all meet this end. Some, sooner than others. Some, are here past all loved ones. The time here is merely a start to eternity, to the most high, our true father. Either way, when we die, remorse, loneliness, sadness, grieving, a reminder of opportunities lost for we thought there would be more. Time gets taken for granted most of all. We always assume more, and in many ways it is all that keeps us from being sad, the hope that we will meet again, in passing, or reconnect in the lives of others. When someone dies though, there is no more time here, there is no more potential, things are what they are and we are left to grieve, feel pain associated with loss. Those left behind are making sense, finding peace , passing time, hearing time heals all, yet it goes so slowly. The brain telling the body to pay attention to this moment, slow things down for this is significant, do not avoid, distract, or minimize, for THIS IS REAL.

The second potential answer from the first question, we do not want to discuss. We do not want to imagine someone, even our worst enemy in that condition. We cannot even grasp the severity to be away from all that is good, separated for what we decided to spend our time on, our thoughts on, our beliefs on, here. No, we want to believe the ending to this story is always well, and the “other”  exists only because it has to, for “those” people. Nobody wants to ask why equipment is made to perform abortions or the perversions behind sex trafficking, yet they exist and in some ways must. There is always an alternative to good and pure, otherwise there would be no good or pure, just, “is,” all would be the same. We cannot experience pleasure without pain, Heaven without “other.”

I want to believe, because I could not know, that “the other” is not how this ends. I want good for all, but for each, while here, it may not be good. Yes, pain can bring pleasure, force us to change, make us better. Some of us would not be who we are today if it wasn’t for pain. Pain forces the body and mind to respond. Biologically endorphins are released, mentally, we learn to cope, understand, and teach others when they go through their own pain.

After a loss here on earth, we are left with few choices, of which, some are harmful. I will not discuss the unhealthy choices, for the world is already full of that information. The choice that results in improving our lives, is to accept. Do not agree or deny, simply accept, be, tolerate all that is felt. No, in the moment this does not seem appropriate and the world may deem it acceptable to instead “distract” with, “unproductive” things. When you sit, listen, and think for a short while, you can make it through the pain. You can be stronger. You can learn from any pain. You are correct in thinking, things will NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN. This is how life is. We never get to repeat anything. We might go through similar situations, but the brain is efficient at learning and picking up even when we are not aware. This, is what we can expect now.

Logic and advice can invalidate sentiment, sadness. Instead, feeling whatever is going on is best now. The words here were not meant to distract from that. These words were meant to be there when needed. When we need a break from sentiment, when we need to realize that there is a tomorrow and we can all learn, grow, and honor any loss with a higher quality of our own life. Again, we are left with options, the negatives too numerous to discuss, however to accept and believe that all things happen for a reason. If you do not believe that and believe we are all here by chance and that nothing happens for a reason, then a loss is nothing more than another of those random events that should be seen as such. Doesn’t the emotional connection we have with loss signify the reasoning behind something? How could we all believe in the same and how could grief be a thing if we were not all connected in some universal way. Some way that is higher than us and for our sanity, in control.

Loss is experiencing a void, something we are all going to have to pass through. With the time we have do not count on future instances for communication. This audacious behavior only prolongs sadness and allows more potential for loss.  

I can believe what I want and say what I want, but genuine is what I feel. What comes naturally to me is to think a certain way and act in accordance with that. I believe in good and evil, for they both exist. I believe that while here we all have choices to make, choices that we are responsible for. I also believe that pain and environment does a thing to a person, a thing like a disease that justifies behaviors those not in pain would not do. We could live 1000 alternative human lifetimes and not even begin to grasp what it is like to be human, especially the human who is gone. What we can do, is to see outside of ourselves, be of service to others, and in the end it will all make sense.

Assistance with the loved ones left behind. Here.

Talking with someone can help more than we would ever believe. Suicide Hotline