Old Man Banter

No, not this guy, but you get the idea.

"Good morning sir." Says I.

 

"Good morning." Says the gentleman much older than I.

 

"It's a cold one out there." Continues the elderly man.

 

"Yes it is. Have to work at staying warm today." I respond.

 

"How you doing today? " Responds the man.

 

"I'm good. (pause) So far anyway. (slight chuckle)." Says I heading away from the conversation at this point.

 

"Ha ha so far anyway? Maybe we better just stop here. (slight chuckle)." Says the gentleman one last time as I head on my way.

 

The conversation was nothing more than that. A straight-forward representation of a typical "old man conversation," as I like to depict it. These conversations are typical in my life and pleasant. There is no obligation for anything more than the here and now. The conversations state the obvious without any insight or analysis expected. Many times I feel cliche stating what I normally would, my go-to script, but yet, anytime I deviate, it just gets weird.

 

Example:

 

"How we doing this morning?" Older, weathered lady at gas station.

 

"Oh, I'm not doing too bad, it's Wednesday at least." I respond in an up-beat way.

 

"Yea, well, when you work the weekends, you don't typically get too excited about the middle of the week."

 

"Oh, yeah, that can make for a long week, (nervous chuckle) I've been there." Says I, fighting back the urge to apologize.

 

"Well, if people would show up for their damn shifts, We wouldn't have these problems. But I guess someone has to be responsible." As the woman appears to be talking to herself at this point.

 

"Dang." My response, again fighting back my go-to of apologizing.

 

"Alright, well hopefully today goes better." -me

 

"I doubt it."- Lady

 

(I leave feeling worse-off than before going in)

 

You can see the difference in conversation. You can see that one was light, uplifting, and left me feeling that thought it is a morning in the middle of the week, and those who live for the weekend may see their destination a long way away, it can still be a positive experience. Just the little "hello" or "How ya doing?" or "cold out there?" to recognize another human being and acknowledge their existence.

Courtesy of: Free online pics (lol).

I am actually one of those people who never felt comfortable with niceties. Honestly, I still struggle when I get caught in my own head, hence the "In my own head" part. I know that when I no longer want anyone to acknowledge me or I get annoyed by another person saying anything to me, I am too much into myself and need to get out. Much like the lady in the second example, she was apparently struggling, however wanted to vent about it to someone, anyone, who knows. What I was able to see was a woman with an issue deeper than the initial schedule conflict she presented. I saw a resentment of life's experiences. I cannot tell what, nor would I ask, and any assumption on my part is rude. What I saw was someone who was ready to complain. Little does she know, but she has an effect on someone else's day and is contributing to the negatives, versus accepting the situation and trying to make the best of it.

 

This one interaction at this one time, leads me to avoid this specific gas station because that might be her shift and she might just be that way. However, this is again keeping me in my own head, my "safe zone," and thus preventing me from learning tolerance with those who are not willing to engage in the light-hearted "old man banter."

 

Figured I would add some cliché "smile" pic here.

Leaving the first conversation, I saw a glimpse of what I want to enjoy about life. To see life as here and now and engage in a conversation with those who I might never talk to again. It spreads good cheer and makes things just a little better from that person to that person, etc.

The second conversation reminded of how a slight, negative comment can affect someone as well. I now know there is discord at work and that she feels she is being treated unfairly and there are other people involved not being responsible. I allowed myself to feel that frustration, for I actually have been there. But again, reminding me of the unpleasant in life in a short conversation wasn't the problem. It was the "poor me" attitude the lady displayed. Talking about something is just that, stating facts. However complaining to any passer-by is in no way helping yours or the other person's situation and potentially going to keep the person stuck in their own negative mindset.

 

As superficial and shallow as the first conversation is, my day was not darkened by it. It was nice, yes I am going to work at staying warm today, thanks um, older guy.