Justify.
"Oh, I am only going to the gym 3 times this week, I am trying to find a healthier balance."
"I didn't eat much yesterday, so this second plate is actually from what I would have eaten then."
"Well, I did run 5 miles this morning."
"It was a long work week, can't we do it later?"
"Well, we could put it on the credit card, after all, we've done well this past year with our budget."
How we go about life trying to make sense of something that might not be our most logical choice, is amazing to watch. Go ahead, look for it in your self. Look for the small ways you spend your energies in convincing you, most of all, that a decision made was the right one.
Now, we all use a weighing of pros and cons to make a decision. Like on Black Friday weekend when you see that gift for that special someone and it's $200 off and you justify the purchase now, on credit, to take advantage of the deals. Nobody could really tell you if this decision was "correct," or not, though the feeling is most important to you, so you justify it.
Making sense of a decision and actually having to put together reasons in support of it, probably means somewhere inside that head of yours there is a logic that knows better.
In the example of the gift purchase, there is a part of the brain that knows the struggle with using credit cards in the past and now you are justifying using them again. There is a part of logic, which seems so far removed from our American standard now, that says, "If you do not have the money, then you probably shouldn't buy it." After all, even the best deals involve money being spent, and if anyone watches Shark Tank, you see that any of those products are sold at a great margin, so the manufacturers are still in the win.
The way we go about justifying things can be as subtle as a subconscious thought, a back and forth amidst a situation. A little higher in recognition is when you actively recognize the non-sensical decision and kind of speak to yourself, a larger and more prominent way to justify a decision is to say it aloud, almost like you're talking to yourself.
"Oh, I was sleepy last night and didn't get any of that good beer, so I am going to have one with breakfast."
As the kids are eating their cereal they look up to mom with her bed head and think, "why is she telling us this?"
It becomes all too common when a person says something aloud to where they might be either looking for reinforcement or by making the statement aloud they can ward off any preconceived judgements from others. By externally recognizing behaviors it shows others that we made a decision and we have already recognized the pros and cons and though we secretly might want them to give us the validation of supporting our decision, we are going to do it anyway, we are in control.
Now, this last part might be different for different people, but ultimately validation inside ourselves is all that matters. It's weird what we can justify when left to our own devices. Like an alcoholic who deems beer as safer than vodka, like they both aren't drink. Like a person who overeats justifies attending a buffet. Like a person who is impulsive opening up a new credit card for "emergencies." All examples of ways that a person will justify something that anyone else might look at them and say, "um, OK."
Justifying typically means you might know better. There is at least a part of you that will recognize there is a more logical decision and yes, this typically means sacrifice of some sort. If you follow that logical idea of not purchasing that gift, not eating that second piece of pie, or not staying up late drinking the beer, then there are less consequences. However, when you find yourself indulging and saying to everyone around you what you've thought and recognized, do not count on them for support. This expectation might just live you more frustrated than if you had kept it to yourself.
If you do decide to open up about what you are justifying, then be open for the feedback and don't dismay if people do not agree.
"Actually mom, I do not think a beer would be a good choice with breakfast."
Mom, gets upset because she expected support, after all she justified the decision, why not everyone else support her?
The kids remember drunk mom stumbling into the Christmas tree by lunch, that's why.
"I didn't eat much yesterday, so this second plate is actually from what I would have eaten then."
"Well, I did run 5 miles this morning."
"It was a long work week, can't we do it later?"
"Well, we could put it on the credit card, after all, we've done well this past year with our budget."
How we go about life trying to make sense of something that might not be our most logical choice, is amazing to watch. Go ahead, look for it in your self. Look for the small ways you spend your energies in convincing you, most of all, that a decision made was the right one.
Now, we all use a weighing of pros and cons to make a decision. Like on Black Friday weekend when you see that gift for that special someone and it's $200 off and you justify the purchase now, on credit, to take advantage of the deals. Nobody could really tell you if this decision was "correct," or not, though the feeling is most important to you, so you justify it.
Making sense of a decision and actually having to put together reasons in support of it, probably means somewhere inside that head of yours there is a logic that knows better.
In the example of the gift purchase, there is a part of the brain that knows the struggle with using credit cards in the past and now you are justifying using them again. There is a part of logic, which seems so far removed from our American standard now, that says, "If you do not have the money, then you probably shouldn't buy it." After all, even the best deals involve money being spent, and if anyone watches Shark Tank, you see that any of those products are sold at a great margin, so the manufacturers are still in the win.
The way we go about justifying things can be as subtle as a subconscious thought, a back and forth amidst a situation. A little higher in recognition is when you actively recognize the non-sensical decision and kind of speak to yourself, a larger and more prominent way to justify a decision is to say it aloud, almost like you're talking to yourself.
"Oh, I was sleepy last night and didn't get any of that good beer, so I am going to have one with breakfast."
As the kids are eating their cereal they look up to mom with her bed head and think, "why is she telling us this?"
It becomes all too common when a person says something aloud to where they might be either looking for reinforcement or by making the statement aloud they can ward off any preconceived judgements from others. By externally recognizing behaviors it shows others that we made a decision and we have already recognized the pros and cons and though we secretly might want them to give us the validation of supporting our decision, we are going to do it anyway, we are in control.
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| I don't care if I'm alone, I wanted to be alone... |
Justifying typically means you might know better. There is at least a part of you that will recognize there is a more logical decision and yes, this typically means sacrifice of some sort. If you follow that logical idea of not purchasing that gift, not eating that second piece of pie, or not staying up late drinking the beer, then there are less consequences. However, when you find yourself indulging and saying to everyone around you what you've thought and recognized, do not count on them for support. This expectation might just live you more frustrated than if you had kept it to yourself.
If you do decide to open up about what you are justifying, then be open for the feedback and don't dismay if people do not agree.
"Actually mom, I do not think a beer would be a good choice with breakfast."
Mom, gets upset because she expected support, after all she justified the decision, why not everyone else support her?
The kids remember drunk mom stumbling into the Christmas tree by lunch, that's why.
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