The Competition, She Burns.

Like a sexual encounter with an individual carrying a disease, a burning sensation afterwards. A  reminder to the body that a choice always has a consequence. Time at the gym can be a competition, sure, however where does the contest end? When do the winners get announced? When am I finally able to be done at the gym? Like a great comic once made an inference about healthy-looking gym-goers, "what are you doing here, you're done." This obviously not how the gym works and much more importantly only requires more investment.


The first time you step foot inside, you are happy with just walking in and seeing things. After a week, you are walking on the treadmill after touching some weights. After a month you start to push yourself a little on doing not 2 sets, but 3. A year passes and you've lost weight, put on muscle, and your punch card for boot camps is full, you might even be allowing tags on a Facebook post. A few years after that, if you're anything like me, it becomes you. No longer is a workout drenched in sweat enough, but you must do more, go heavier, run faster, go longer, all of it. More  and more workouts aren't up to par. After all, I can run at the highest speed on the treadmill for a few minutes. I can bench press more weight than I ever saw adults do as a child when I was growing up, and I can crunch my abs until I crap myself, there is literally no end to how much I can do.

 

So, what happens when age does it's thing on our bodies? When the cells are no longer efficient at recovery and the tissues lack necessary efficiency to keep up, and the body remains deficient?  Well, then the recommendation is to "take a break." Wait, you're telling me that I set this behavior, this obsession, this identity to be a gym-goer, to have 1000 friends on Instagram waiting for the next shirt off or booty shot, only to "take some time off?"

 

Take a break? Are you crazy?

Ah, now we have ourselves a dilemma. We have an identity that is falling through. Like a relationship where one partner decides to move on. Like a career where massive lay-offs deem a title no more. Like a high school senior in charge of the Football team to go to college and start all over. Loss of gym can mean loss of identity. Loss of self through how we define ourselves is the larger picture. The part of us we show to the world. The part we want them to see. If we lose the identity that we show others, the reason our social media fans exist, then what are we? I mean, I cannot show the world my Calvin and Hobbes collection for that will make me out to be an isolated nerd. I cannot talk about work because that is boring and unattractive. The last time I put pictures of myself fully clothed, I got like 3 likes. How will I ever redefine myself for others to see me as the unique person I found at the gym?

 

(buzz) Wrong thought process!

 

You see, the thinking that starts out innocently enough is quick to get muddled. Depending on self and your ability to obsess over things, fulfilling a prideful nature that gets praise, a person slowly, but surely gets into a rut in defining themselves as too much of anything. Anything in which you actively have to be, whether it is a doctor, a lawyer, a gym goer, a father, a cook, whatever it is that takes activity, it too will pass. The parts of you people remember, the people that know you, the people that matter, are the parts of you, you might not even know you are putting out there. I can say I want to be a better person, but unless my actions, organically depict it, is it true. I can say that I want to be funny, but if I never tell a joke, again, people won't see this. I can even say I am a good father, but if most of my Facebook posts are pictures of just me, then maybe I am not the person I desire to be.

 

Focus on what matters.

With that all said, it may be time to realign your goals. Realign where you focus your energy. If you want the superficial things in life, the things that scratch the itch, then that's cool man. Unfortunately, the itch only gets more intense and consumes your thought process without some regulating. Why not instead of continuing to scratch, you get some ointment to remedy the itch. Yea, instead of trying to itch just a little to not spread or cause infection to the area, why don't you just remedy it?

 

It is easy for me to write the words, because I think in 3rd person. I like the idea of change, however how do I go about starting it. Admitting fault is one way. Admitting reliance and therefore powerlessness is another. Something people with addiction do all the time. For the rest of us, the people who have other "bad behaviors" we would like to change to get us closer to the people we want to be. This means admitting our faults, starting with our motives.

If my motives are to gain attention then anything it takes to get likes or followers is going to be accepted. If my goal is to be more genuine, then I have to tell people what I feel. If I am going to be that good father and husband, then I have to be mindful of my time distracted away from family and dedicate the proper amount to where it needs to go, and no this isn't just tagging family in more photos, but actually being there. This, only then can a habit start to form and offsetting the other. Maybe then will the burning stop.