All Roads Lead To...

Tearing the can open. Pouring the excess water into the sink. Turning on the faucet, hopefully washing the liquid and therefore smell down the drain.

Tearing off the top of a sardine can is the most difficult part. Finite movements of a thumb and wrist to wiggle the pre-cut metal to come lose without flinging fishy, oily-water all over the place. I have had times where the oil has flung onto my shirt and pants, or on the wall next to the sink. Somehow, no matter how hard I try to be careful, the end of the can always sticks, frustration peaks, and my flick of the wrist turns into a hopeful jerk.

 

Splat. Right on the pants, again.

 

"Dang it." As fear creeps in that I will have a subtly, fish smell on me for the entire day now. Yet, I have already put my shoes and socks on so a few specks of fish aren't enough persuasion to go back now, I am on a father/hourly-employee time table.

 

Why do I do it? Why would I choose to eat canned fish after getting up earlier than absolutely necessary to exert myself in a place I pay monthly for aka the gym? The logic is lost on this one. I mean, besides some assumed health benefits, and some Ideas that might be more somatic than literal involving mental health, why?

 

Well, let me back up a second, I know why I do things. After all, I live them, I think about them, and I have a life left to live because of them. This isn't about me I guess, but about you, your logic, your reason, your purpose.

 

The question everyone needs to ask themselves is if what they invest time on, everyday, leads them closer to the person they want to be? After all, aren't we all heading towards our ultimate selves? Even if that person is a "worse" version then the one now, who, was better than the person 5 years ago? I tend to think I was at my best before the age of 5. At that age I could just live. No malice, no ill intent, and most importantly, no knowledge. There can be too much knowledge. There can reside in a human being the point where ignorance on some things is almost necessary. I mean, do you really need to know what the Kardashians are doing right now, or what they do at all? Do you need to have all the ease a smart phone has to offer? And if I see one more commercial of some family member too lazy to turn off the lights and asking Alexa to do it, I am going to freak. I'd just rather not know these things even existed.

 

I said, Stranger Things, not stranger's things!

So, are you spending time on what is important for you? Think of the subtle things too. Things like time texting, Facebooking, IG-ing, even bingeing TV shows uh hem, Stranger Things 2. It's easy to justify the time and say that entertainment adds to your life, but is it contributing or taking away? If the programming is something with value that you support, but if it isn't then maybe not so much. Are the images on social media ones you like or respond to with a face because you care, or because you want to be relevant? Are you writing for yourself or to impress others.... Sorry, that last one was for me, my reference point.

 

Look, from the food you eat, the activities you do, words you say, and thoughts that only you know about, all make up you. If you want to sit and stew in your own resentment, anger, or constant competition with someone, then go right ahead, it's your life. May I suggest you, um, stop tho?

 

Yea, pre excess, to "binge" wasn't a thing.

Real quick on the food thing. Just because the food is "healthy" doesn't mean it puts you in line with the version of you, you want to be. Obsessing over healthy foods is just as much if not more of a problem than just eating the easy, stimulating junk. Obsessing over the gym, and ruining all your free time because you are too tired or sore to do anything, again, not characteristics of a winner. Instead of anything too much, over thinking, over analyzing, over-expecting, and relying on anything, even healthy foods and the gym, to make you better, you are sorely mistaken. In fact, I was solely mistaken.

 

Though the fish juice splattered on my pants and when the alarm goes off at 3:50 I am remorseful of a now appreciated, warm bed, I like the act and the taste, and know that these things help me more long-term than immediate rewards now. Hey, you're right, ice cream tastes better than fish, however ice cream is also full of sugar that makes me sleepy. Just the same as "sleeping in," makes me more tired than when I can just go ahead and get up anyways.