Come Sail Away With Me.

I have no idea what I am doing. I run the ship, but I fear it run ashore through my negligence. I don't even know where the shore is either, I don't know what destroys ships, I don't know anything about ships. Instead I got behind the wheel, stayed there, and been driving it now for 32 years. Sure I had some help in the past and even now I'm steered clear by the Coast Guard, but I cannot count on others to always tell me I am wrong. A few times I have scraped the bottom, this did some damage, but made me aware of what to look for when approaching dangerous waters. I have ran into a few other ships, some on purpose, some on accident, with intents to get ahead of them towards a destination unknown. I have hurt some people's livelihoods I would imagine, for I will never see the totality of my effect. 

While sailing in my early years, I focused on the deck, the shine on the outside, the parts passer-byers could see. I did little maintenance to the outside. I barely touched the sails or the internal part where wood was becoming warped. I had seen others inside their cabins working, but I thought them fools for wasting so much time, after all, my ship looked the best. It did too and I invested all my resources into making sure it looked like a 5 star, however the inside was worn that anyone who looked upon it was sickened. I was embarrassed by the lack of interior or any quality. I would shut the doors not allowing anyone to see in there. I knew what it was, but I needed to focus on the outside and there was just no time. 

I meandered along, floating, hoping that where I am headed is the right direction. I am not a ship with motors. I have no propellers, no engine. I have the wind and when the sails opens, I go. At one time I thought I saw an island, a destination to plant my boat, but it too passed. Once I got close enough the island was simply a rock. A large stone piercing the waters. Since then, I have seen many "islands," only to get close enough to hold and find the same fate. I sail, some days are stormy with rough waters, some are smooth, some are hot, some waters cold. The waters used to be unfavorable all the time and now they are smooth with no great gusts of wind to heave me towards any destination.

What I see ahead is openness. I see a sun that will never be reached and water that is never-ending. If the world was flat, I would go right over the edge for I see no end. I get to enjoy the breeze now. In the past the breeze was nothing more than a nuisance . A breeze wasn't enough to get me going, no, I needed the wind. I needed large gusts that a storm provides rushing me to and from as I enjoy the near-death experience. 

I enjoyed the ship convoys I came into contact with. Pirates who were a good time, but always left my ship damaged. The waters drifted me from those ships. The elements of the earth, controlled by God, are what continue to drive me towards something greater. 

What I used to refer to as a destination or at the time, big gusts of wind, is no longer what I require. What my ships has is time, a short amount in the present, and then an eternal future. I better plan accordingly. I can run my ship hard and fast with the pirates and rebels, or I can continue to race the newer models I've seen lately, but this is not a contingency plan involving forever. 

Yes, the physical structure of this ship will soon break down. My ship will run upon some rocks someday and be buried by sand as is with any ships, motorboats are quicker to rot. What matters is the path I lead while I lead it and assist ships in their tough times, pull some at times, anchor others too weak to withstand a storm, or even donate supplies because they need it. 

I stand behind this wheel of the ship doing the best I can, watching the waters, staying aware. Making sure I pay attention to the subtle changes in the ship and the surrounding waters. Many captains think that it is the large waves, or giant sharks or whales to be concerned with, however those are few and too obvious to be concerned. When those things are in your presence or a hole occurs in the vessel, you will know, there is no guessing. No, what a ship's bottom is concerned with is subtle mold, wearing down of the wood and metal, or a slight tear in the sail eventually rips open, thus losing control of the vessel. Yes, it is the small things, ignored which will prematurely take out this ship and remove the ship from its intended path. 

The other ships that pass, they ask where I'm headed, for they plan the tropics. I plan nowhere. My destination is this journey and while on it, I need to be the ship others can count on, even if I get nothing in return. This doesn't mean I won't experience rough waters, but what it does mean is that I will see the waters for what they are, necessary. For it is scraping the bottom, or repairing after a large storm where my ship has gained it's strongest parts. If the storm hadn't ripped the sail, then I would never have noticed the tiny holes. If the wood hadn't started cracking and leaking, I wouldn't have treated it. These characteristics of my ship are because of the hard road. Just like a see-saw has to appreciate the heavier kid, a ship must be aware of the poor leading to the greater good.

As I sail down these now smooth waters, I see some storm clouds ahead. I see the rainbow before them too. I do not cringe at the dark clouds or worry about avoiding them. I know that I can make it through even this water and get to a sunset never more beautiful than on the tails of darkness. Though my ship is weathered and no longer new, she is forged for strength. 

As the sun shines brightly, I cannot help but look up, enjoy the breeze, and take a deep breath. This is where I am supposed to be, no matter what comes up next.