Hey Everyone, Look at Me.

Oftentimes, to do better in this world, you’ve got to “compete.” Everything since conception is a comparison to someone else. When in vitro your size, development, all measurable characteristics doctors can determine as appropriate or not. As adults, this pattern can be so ingrained in us to “compete,” or to a lesser extent, “compare,” to determine our placement. I, “competed,” for most of my life. In fact, without being prompted, I determined my environment as a competition where I won, or I lost. There was no "being," no gray area. With this perspective of the world, pride was my accomplice.

Pride is a nasty little beast. Instances such as sports, work development, watching your own kids grow and develop, being associated with something that is doing good, all reinforcing this prideful nature. When something doesn’t go our way, or the Sharks don’t invest in our business, then we lose and are humiliated, the opposite of pride.

When we want to do good in the world, have a pure motive, our road in getting there requires some pride, correct? Doesn’t it make perfect sense that when we are doing good we be driven by a prideful nature to do so? Just like my misconception in math class, the answer does not matter as much as how you got there, the work. If I have to step on people or put them down because I feel my way is the best, even with a pure motive, then am I any better for an end result of helping someone? Do I sacrifice coworkers to assist a client? Always questions, never answers.

Wanting to do good in the world can slip so easily in problematic behaviors, pride for instance. I can only image the difficulty that a pastor at a church would have or a leader in literature, spreading a positive word as everyone gives them the credit. They must work on maintaining focus and not getting absorbed into themselves, to keep what they want to see in the world in their own behaviors (thoughts and beliefs). After all, if you believe situations are all about you all the time, how much care can you have for someone else?

Guy- "Oh great, Melissa is talking about her weekend again!"

You can see the posts on Facebook, Instagram, for which I am guilty as well. I am extremely guilty of posting about someone else, but yet the intent, my truest, darkest intent was to show relevancy. I know that putting posts up about self, or selfies all the time shows a self-centered version so easily cast aside, but yet when I post on someone else, or something outside of me, a Bible verse, without the proper intent, it will be more accepted. More accepted, but hallow.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to see positives in the world. Improvement of individuals. But this usually involves living this improvement, involving a sacrifice of self. This, I believe, is the hardest thing someone could do. This is why when you meet with someone who asks about you, with no motive other than to learn, it is so comforting. The people looking to gain off of you are so easily discounted as “salesman,” or at the least, an uncomfortable feeling. Putting positive posts or doing something “good,” is great as the result, but what was the motive? Your motive will be the driving force as to why you did what you did and why the world will improve because of it, or continue to fulfill the self-centered perspective that corrupts.

Pride is a problem. Typically anything has two sides, but with this, it causes much more destruction than it ever helps. I attributed any worldly success, though not much, to my anxiety, my “competitive” view of the world. I thought that by competing, and winning, I was doing life better than others. I would reassure myself of this when I would have down-time or lose at something else. “Well, at least I bench pressed 315 for a set of 12 today.” As though this matters to anyone but me, I’m not even so sure it matters to me as much as the damages to my joints.

Removal of self produces the greatest results.

Motive, the reason behind the action, the truest, darkest, most pure reason you might avoid admitting to, is what attributes to “good” or reinforces the “negative” of the world. The problem is that the world will promote even the most superficial of giving even if the post was 100% all about the postee. We all want to latch on to the positive and be associated with it. Anyone who questioned the motive of even a superficial post about being positive, would get slaughtered and deemed so easily a “bad person.” Many examples exist, and much of what I see appears to have a motive that is more about self, than it is about others. I should know, I am one of the most guilty, faulty persons. For this reason, the difficulty lies in checking myself every single day. Everything I say, do, think, I have to be aware of. When I become complacent, slip into my old “competitive” behaviors, I fail at improving the lives of others. It’s a difficult task, but allows people to benefit from a conversation. Selfishly, I benefit too by learning about others, their struggles, and what perspective I can gain from them.